Ellecia Paine is a non-monogamy relationship coach who helps people navigate ENM (Enthusiastic non-monogamy), polyamory, open relating, swinging, kink, and life in general.

Listen in to the candid conversations that give you a peek into the inner lives of other non-monogamous folks. Hear how they've overcome challenges like jealousy, insecurity, and social scrutiny. And celebrate with them as they share all the reasons it's worth it to have relationships that don't fit in the box.

Podcast Ellecia Paine Podcast Ellecia Paine

Jealousy to Compersion: Communicating Through Emotions in Open Relationships with Ally Iseman, ep. 108

Ever wondered if you can learn to feel compersion instead of jealousy? Or if talking about opening up your relationship means you're actually ready to do it? This episode dives deep into these questions and more!

I'm joined by Ally Iseman, a certified relationship coach and founder of Passport to Pleasure. Ally brings her unique blend of humor, compassion, and practical tools to help couples navigate the complexities of non-monogamy.

Read More
Podcast Ellecia Paine Podcast Ellecia Paine

Why You Keep Comparing Yourself to Your Metamour (And How to Stop), ep.

Struggling with comparison in your non-monogamous relationship? Whether it’s jealousy, insecurity, or spiraling thoughts when your partner mentions someone new—you’re not alone, and you’re not broken.

In this episode, we explore why comparison shows up in polyamory and non-monogamy, how it impacts your nervous system, and what you can do to stop the spiral and build emotional safety.

Read More
Podcast Ellecia Paine Podcast Ellecia Paine

Open Monogamy, Jealousy & Mismatched Desires | Dr. Tammy Nelson on Rethinking Relationship Agreements

If you’ve ever struggled with mismatched desires, defining commitment with a partner, or navigating the messier side of non-monogamy — this episode is for you.

In this candid conversation, I talk with Dr. Tammy Nelson, sexologist, therapist, TEDx speaker, and author of Open Monogamy. With 35+ years of experience working with couples in both monogamous and open relationships, Tammy brings a nuanced lens to everything from sexual boredom and emotional disconnection to jealousy, relationship fatigue, and the evolving nature of commitment.

Read More
Podcast Ellecia Paine Podcast Ellecia Paine

Unmasking Ashley Madison: Why People Cheat & What It Reveals About Modern Relationships, EP. 105

When I was invited to interview someone from Ashley Madison, I hesitated. My first instinct was judgment — but then I realized, that’s the same kind of stigma people apply to non-monogamy all the time.

This powerful conversation with Paul Keable, Chief Strategy Officer at Ashley Madison, dives deep into the complex, often misunderstood world of infidelity, emotional disconnection, and unmet needs in long-term relationships.

Read More
Podcast Ellecia Paine Podcast Ellecia Paine

5 Simple Tools for Profound Intimacy in Non-Monogamy, Ep. 104

Struggling to feel deeply connected in your non-monogamous relationships? Whether you're navigating polyamory, open relationships, or casual connections, meaningful intimacy doesn’t have to take hours of deep conversations or elaborate date nights. In fact, it can start with just five minutes a day.

Read More
Podcast Ellecia Paine Podcast Ellecia Paine

Building Polyamorous Community and Connections with Aly Moon, ep 100

🎉100 episodes! Can you believe it? Three years ago, I was terrified to be on video, worried about getting it all "right." Now, this podcast has become a thriving space for deep, unfiltered conversations about non-monogamy—and it’s all thanks to you! 💜

To celebrate this milestone, I’m joined by Aly Moon, a polyamory community leader with 15+ years of non-monogamous experience and 7 years of hosting events in the Pacific Northwest. Aly is all about creating intentional, inclusive spaces where polyamorous folks can connect, learn, and grow together.

Read More
Podcast Ellecia Paine Podcast Ellecia Paine

The Anxious Person's Toolkit for Successful Non-Monogamous Connections, Ep. 98

Are you navigating the emotional landscape of non-monogamy? In this episode, I chat with Lola Phoenix, author of "The Anxious Person's Guide to Non-Monogamy", "The Non-monogamy Journal", and host of the "Non-Monogamy Help" podcast. We chat about the complexities of open relationships and how to build a toolkit for managing the intense emotions that often arise.

Read More
Podcast Ellecia Paine Podcast Ellecia Paine

The Hidden Costs of Ignoring Jealousy in Non-Monogamous Relationships, EP. 97

Jealousy doesn't fade when we ignore it. It grows silently, taking a toll on our relationships and emotional well-being.

I've seen this pattern time and again in my coaching practice. Clients who brush off their jealousy, hoping it'll disappear, often find themselves dealing with deeper issues down the road.

But here's the truth: addressing jealousy head-on can transform your relationships.

Read More
Podcast Ellecia Paine Podcast Ellecia Paine

Reignite Your Dating Life: Overcoming App Burnout and Finding Your People, ep. 96

Are you tired of swiping endlessly on dating apps, feeling like you're getting nowhere? In this episode, I sit down with Julie and Yue, the dynamic duo behind the Dateable podcast and authors of "How to Be Dateable: The Essential Guide to Finding Your Person and Falling in Love." These dating experts are here to shake up your approach to modern romance, whether you're monogamous, non-monogamous, or somewhere in between.

Read More
Podcast Ellecia Paine Podcast Ellecia Paine

Why DIY Jealousy Solutions Fall Short in Non-Monogamy, ep. 95

Have you ever found yourself caught in the grip of jealousy, promising that next time will be different, only to find those familiar feelings resurface? If you've been trying to tackle jealousy on your own without success, you're not alone. In this episode, I'm pulling back the curtain on why DIY approaches to managing jealousy often fall short, and why deeper work is crucial for lasting change.

Read More
Podcast Ellecia Paine Podcast Ellecia Paine

The Unexpected Paths of Non-Monogamy: A Conversation with Annie Undone, EP. 94

Are you ready to challenge everything you thought you knew about relationships? In this eye-opening episode, I sit down with Annie Undone, a writer, artist, and relationship anarchist who's been through it all - from monogamy to swinging, polyamory, and now relationship anarchy. Together, we unpack the raw truth about opening up relationships and why it might just lead to the end of your current partnership... but that's not necessarily a bad thing.

Read More
Podcast Ellecia Paine Podcast Ellecia Paine

How to Turn Jealousy Into a Tool for Growth, Ep. 93

Have you ever felt that knot in your stomach when your partner laughs a little too hard with someone new? Or that tightness in your chest when they're excited about a fresh connection? Jealousy can be an unwelcome guest in our emotional landscape, especially in non-monogamous relationships. But what if I told you that this intense feeling isn't your enemy, but potentially one of your most powerful allies?

Read More
Podcast Ellecia Paine Podcast Ellecia Paine

Why 2025 is the Year to Let Go of Jealousy, ep 92

Ever felt that sudden pang of jealousy when scrolling through social media or hearing your partner mention a new name? You're not alone. In this eye-opening episode, I dive deep into the often misunderstood emotion of jealousy and how we can transform it from a source of pain into a powerful tool for personal growth and deeper connections.

Read More
Ellecia Paine Ellecia Paine

Graceful Rejection: The Art of Saying No Without Burning Bridges EP.90

How do you turn someone down romantically without creating awkwardness or burning bridges? In this episode, my partner, Danny, and I tackle one of the trickiest aspects of non-monogamous relationships: rejection. Inspired by a question from one of our Patreon supporters, we explore how to say "no" in a way that’s respectful, kind, and true to your own boundaries.

Read More
Ellecia Paine Ellecia Paine

Beyond Swiping Finding Authentic Connections in Seattle ep. 89

Tired of endlessly swiping on dating apps and feeling like you're spinning your wheels? In this episode, I sit down with Rozie Erlewine, a compassionate matchmaker and polyamorous community organizer who’s been helping people connect in the Seattle polyamory scene since 2017. Rozie, the founder of Seattle Inclusive Matchmaking and host of polyamorous speed dating events, brings fresh ideas to creating real, intentional connections outside the apps.  

Read More