Ellecia Paine is a non-monogamy relationship coach who helps people navigate ENM (Enthusiastic non-monogamy), polyamory, open relating, swinging, kink, and life in general.

Listen in to the candid conversations that give you a peek into the inner lives of other non-monogamous folks. Hear how they've overcome challenges like jealousy, insecurity, and social scrutiny. And celebrate with them as they share all the reasons it's worth it to have relationships that don't fit in the box.

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The Relationship Skills That Actually Matter in Non-Monogamy with Dr. Dan Sneider

If you’ve ever wondered which relationship skills actually make non-monogamy easier, healthier, and less chaotic, this episode is your new favorite deep dive.

Today I’m talking with couples therapist Dr. Dan Sneider, who works with both monogamous and non-monogamous partners and brings a grounded, compassionate, very human approach to communication, trust, and emotional safety.

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Rethinking “Success” in Polyamory with Jessica Morgenthaler Ep. 134

In this episode of Nope! We’re Not Monogamous, I sit down with therapist, coach, and relationship anarchist Jessica Morgenthaler to talk about what it actually means to do relationships on purpose, not just by default.

Jessica’s been practicing and teaching ethical non-monogamy for over a decade, and the way she talks about relationship design will blow your mind a little (and soothe your inner overthinker a lot).

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The Polyamory Trap of Finding Different Partners to Fill Different Needs, Ep. 128

Have you ever thought, “If I just had another partner to meet the need my current partners aren’t fulfilling, I’d finally feel satisfied”?

In this episode of Nope! We’re Not Monogamous, non-monogamous relationship coach Ellecia Paine unpacks one of the biggest traps in polyamory: using new partners to fill gaps that actually require inner work.

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Polyamory’s Biggest Struggle Isn’t Jealousy — It’s Scheduling EP.127

So many breakups in polyamory get blamed on “bad communication.” But what if it’s really a scheduling problem in disguise?

Richie joins me on this week’s episode to share how a cancer journey, a small ski town, and a whole lot of overlapping calendars inspired him to create PYE — a new app that makes dating, boundaries, and consent less overwhelming and way more intentional.

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The Brutal Truth About Open Relationships, Ep. 125

Curious about open relationships but tired of the Instagram highlight reel version? This episode gets real about what it actually takes to make non-monogamy work — the messy feelings, the constant negotiations, and the communication skills you didn’t know you needed until it was too late.

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Patriarchy and Polyamory — Unpacking Power, Gender, and ENM with Cass Banker, Ep. 124

In this episode of Nope! We’re Not Monogamous, I sit down with Cass Banker (they/them) — a polyamorous, eXvangelical, non-binary human on a mission to deconstruct patriarchal masculinity in themselves and the world. Raised and socialized as a man for most of their life, Cass knows firsthand how entitlement, dominance, and pre-written gender scripts sneak into all kinds of relationships — yes, even ethical non-monogamy.

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The Cost of Shrinking: When Monogamy Doesn’t Fit, Ep. 123

“What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I just be happy with what I have? Why do I keep wanting more when I already have a ‘good’ relationship?” 

If that question has been looping in your head, this episode is for you. Spoiler: there’s nothing wrong with you. You’ve just been taught your whole life that love only “counts” if it fits in the monogamy box—even if that box is crushing you.

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Why Finding Your People Changes Everything in Non-Monogamy, Ep. 121

In non-monogamy, being misunderstood often feels like the default—and being truly seen? That’s the exception. But finding your people truly changes everything.

In this episode of Nope! We’re Not Monogamous, non-monogamous love, sex, and relationship coach Ellecia Paine cracks open the emotional exhaustion of constantly explaining your relationships—especially to therapists, friends, or family who just don’t get it. She shares what real support actually looks like, how it feels in your body, and why tolerating your truth isn’t the same as honoring it.

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You’re Not Wrong for Wanting More: Let’s End That Lie, Ep. 120

Do you worry that your desires make you “too much”?Like wanting more connection, more honesty, or more love means something is wrong with you?

In this episode of Nope! We’re Not Monogamous, I’m getting all the way real about the internalized guilt so many of us carry when we crave “more” in our relationships. More connection. More truth. More you. And especially inside non-monogamy, where wanting more can trigger every insecurity we’ve ever inherited from monogamy culture.

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Why You’re Stuck in the Same Fight on Repeat (and How to Break the Loop) Ep. 116

Are you having the same fight over and over in your non-monogamous relationship—and wondering why nothing ever changes?

You’re not broken. You’re in a pattern. And until you understand what’s underneath that pattern, it’ll keep showing up again and again.In this episode, we’re diving into trauma loops—how they form, why they’re especially common in non-monogamous relationships, and how to start breaking the cycle for good.

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