Rewind: Wilder on Closed Triads, Poly Families & Living Authentically
Some conversations are simply too good to leave in the archives.
This week I'm re-releasing one of my favorite early episodes with my dear friend, Wilder. Even years later, this conversation feels just as relevant. We dive into what it actually looks like to build a life outside of traditional relationship norms, from joining an already-married couple to creating a thriving polyamorous family together.
Wilder shares her experience of living in a closed triad, navigating the assumptions people make about triads, unpacking monogamous conditioning, and raising children in a loving, intentional polyamorous household.
Whether you're curious about polyamory, already practicing ethical non-monogamy, or simply interested in questioning the relationship scripts we've all inherited, this conversation is full of honesty, vulnerability, and hope.
Wilder lives in Olalla with her partners, their children, and an ever-growing collection of chickens, ducks, adventures, and beautiful chaos.
In This Episode
What a closed triad actually is - and what people often misunderstand about them
Why labels can be helpful...and where they can become limiting
The emotional journey of transitioning from monogamy to polyamory
Authenticity, self-love, and creating relationships that fit who you really are
Unlearning monogamous programming
Navigating jealousy with curiosity instead of fear
Raising children in a polyamorous family
Imagining new possibilities for love, family, and partnership
The difference between control and trust
Choosing authenticity over societal expectations
Timestamps
2:19 – What is a closed triad?
4:20 – Labels and identity
8:24 – Transitioning into polyamory
15:03 – Authenticity and self-love
18:59 – Monogamous programming and triad dynamics
33:24 – Jealousy
44:49 – Raising kids in a polyamorous family
52:44 – The possibilities of the future
54:41 – Control versus trust
1:00:08 – Living authentically
If you enjoyed this conversation, I'd love for you to share it with someone who's questioning the relationship "rules" they've always been taught. Every time we hear real stories from real people, it becomes a little easier to imagine that there are many ways to build a loving, connected life.
❤️ Thanks for listening to Nope, We're Not Monogamous.
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Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar Lindstein
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