The Courage to Show Up: Sex Positivity and Finding Your People with Jamie Love, EP. 159
What if the thing you're craving most isn't another dating app, another relationship book, or another set of rules?
What if it's community?
In this episode of Nope! We're Not Monogamous, Ellecia sits down with Jamie Love, Executive Director of Sex Positive World, to talk about the power of finding spaces where you can show up authentically, explore with curiosity, and realize you're not as alone as you thought.
They dive into what sex positivity actually means beyond the stereotypes, why community is essential for people navigating non-monogamy, kink, and alternative relationships, and how play can become a pathway to deeper intimacy and self-discovery.
Whether you're brand new to this world or you've been practicing non-monogamy for years, this conversation is a reminder that you don't have to have it all figured out before you find your people.
In This Episode, We Discuss:
What Sex Positive World is and the work they're doing to make sexuality education more accessible
Why community matters so much when exploring non-monogamy and kink
The courage it takes to attend your first event alone
How shame keeps us disconnected and what happens when we let ourselves be seen
Why observation is participation and why you never have to do more than feels right for you
Boundaries, consent, and learning what your wants, needs, and desires actually are
The role of play in intimacy, pleasure, and connection
Pet play, primal play, cuddle spaces, and expanding your definition of what intimacy can look like
How sex positivity intersects with advocacy, belonging, and creating cultural change
Why finding your people matters now more than ever
Resources Mentioned
Sex Positive World: https://www.sexpositiveworld.org
Learn more about Sex Positive World's online classes, community events, and educational offerings
Polytopia Conference in Portland, Oregon
Jessica Fern and Polysecure
Connect with Jamie Love
Jamie Love (she/they) is the Executive Director of Sex Positive World and an educator, facilitator, and community builder passionate about creating spaces where people can explore sexuality, relationships, consent, and connection without shame.
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TRANSCRIPT:
[00:00:00] Ellecia: Hey friends, welcome back to Nope, We're Not Monogamous. I'm Ellecia, your non-monogamous relationship coach, and one of the things I hear all the time from people exploring non-monogamy, kink, or even just, like, a different way of relating is, "I feel so alone." Maybe you're the only person you know who's having these conversations.
Maybe you're trying to figure things out without, like, a roadmap or a rule book. Maybe you're wondering where your people are. So today's conversation is all about community, connection, and finding the spaces where you can show up more fully as yourself. I'm chatting with Jamie Love, the executive director of Sex Positive World, and we talk about what sex positiviti- sex positivity actually means, why community matters so much, and the courage it takes to try new things, and how, like, play and consent and curiosity and connection can completely transform the way we experience relationships and ourselves, right?
So whether you're, like, brand new to all of [00:01:00] this or you've been exploring for years, I think you'll find something really valuable in this conversation. Enjoy.
[00:01:06] Jamie Love: Welcome.
[00:01:07] Ellecia: Welcome back, actually, to Nope, We're Not Monogamous. Jamie, I'm excited you're here. Um, I always love talking to you. And, um, and I don't remember which episodes you were on, but it was, like, last year around this same time, and the year before around this same time.
[00:01:23] Jamie Love: Yeah. Yeah, that's right. It's usually in the summertime I like to go and see my podcast friends, and there's lots of stuff going on in the summertime, so lots to talk about.
[00:01:32] Ellecia: Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Exactly, exactly. I, um... Okay, first, what, do me a favor and tell our listeners a little bit about who you are, please.
[00:01:43] Jamie Love: Um, so my name's Jamie Love.
I, I use she or they pronouns, and I am, I identify as a slut, polyamorous, kinky, as a swinger, as all kinds of things. So, um, how did that come to be? I got involved with a group called Sex [00:02:00] Positive World, and I am their executive director. What we do is provide education on a sliding scale online. We did that, like, during the pandemic.
We existed before that with in-person chapters, of which I'm also involved with. Um, so what I do, uh, which is really cool, is I get to spend all my time doing either sex and relationship education, whether that be online, in person, facilitation. Like, I'm a cuddle coach, for example. Like, that's within that realm.
Uh, some people hear sex positive and they think orgy. They don't think-
[00:02:34] Ellecia: Right ...
[00:02:34] Jamie Love: consent. And while we do have orgies sometimes, there's so much more to our sexuality. Um, and the other piece is all around community building. So folks who are from many different walks of life, whether that be they're looking to deprogram something from religion, they wanna explore queerness, uh, they have teenage kids and they want to be able to talk to them about their sexuality, but they don't have the tools to do that.
So, uh, I help folks [00:03:00] to get connected- In community events, you know, through socials and cuddle events and massage and so on in our in-person chapters. I'm located in Portland. We also have a huge chapter, like, in Los Angeles and Utah. Uh, there's one in Belgium, and then all scattered throughout the United States, and we get folks from around the world as well, including in, like, Singapore.
Uh, and that's the great thing about having an online community. So I get to do it online, I get to do all that crazy networking with folks all over, and then we pull them together for some events, and I get to travel quite a bit too. So that's kinda in a nutshell what I do, and I very recently joined the Portland Leather Alliance.
You'll notice I have my black and blue leather flag behind me because I am learning all about leather culture right now. Because sex positivity and also all of these pieces of kink have these long histories, and it's- Mm-hmm ... not something you're gonna learn about in college unless you're explicitly in the world of sexuality.
So, um, like how we met, I'm a sex geek. So [00:04:00] that's me- Yes ... in a nutshell.
[00:04:03] Ellecia: That's amazing. I love that so much. I feel like I'm always telling people to go, like, get some community. Like, go find some people- Yeah ... to talk about this stuff with be- and, uh, because, you know, most of our, uh, social circles are, are people we work with and our families.
Yeah. And, um, in general, for most people, those aren't the people you wanna talk about, uh, non-monogamy, polyamory, kink, sexuality. Those aren't the people you're probably talking to that stu- about that stuff to.
[00:04:32] Jamie Love: Yeah. And on top of it, it's like if you only talk about sex with the people that you actually have sex with, there's a lot of pressure.
So it, to me- Yeah ... is really great to have folks to talk to about, like, what's working or what's not working or what's exciting for you right now, and then to go your separate ways and then be with your person or persons, whatever your situation is. So I- Mm-hmm ... I, I really believe, like, we are kind of that, that third place for a lot of people [00:05:00] because sexuality- Yeah
is a big no-no. Like, I've been to social events from other meetup groups and had people get very offended that I just talked about like, "This is what I do with my life." So it's- Yeah ... really, really critically important for people to have community to be in when they're non-monogamous or into some kind of sexual play that they want to talk to others about because that shame, I know for me that shame was a big part of, um, what made me feel disconnected from other humans.
So the fact that I get to show up in community in my full authenticity to be like, "Hey, I'm going to the bathhouse tonight with a new person that I met, and we might go play with other people," like, that's my life, and I don't have to have shame. I don't have to keep it a secret. That, that really helps me to feel like a full human that can really show up.
[00:05:49] Ellecia: Yes. Yes, I love that. Something else that I, um, have really loved about, um, like Sex Positive Portland and Sex Positive World and the events that, that are hosted is [00:06:00] I see so many people come in that are, like, alone or it's their first time. Like, they're being so brave and showing up to this thing that they're like, "I don't know what to expect."
And it's so cool. And I, I'm like that. Like, I, it terrifies me to go somewhere new and go somewhere alone and, like, I don't know what's gonna happen. Like, I feel really anxious. Ugh, maybe I'll just stay home instead. Like, it's really scary. And so every time I see people showing up to those things and then seeing them connect with people and start talking and it's like so many, uh, like, "Oh, me too.
M- I've, I also experience that. I also want that." Like, it's so cool watching people connect and then finding that, like, they're not alone.
[00:06:40] Jamie Love: Yeah, totally. We, we try to make our, we write these big long event descriptions so people really, really, really know what they're getting into. And you know, it's, it's like overwhelm of information sometimes.
But I, exactly what you're saying, like, um, one of my first orientations to sex positivity, one of the prompts we were given was, you know, talking to a [00:07:00] stranger, you know, a, a new friend who I haven't met yet, was to share a fantasy. And like, there's a lot of similarities in fantasies that folks have or things that they wanna try, you know, whether that be like with a threesome or, you know, getting tied up or whatever that is.
So those connection points are so important because you start realizing like, I, it's, I'm not alone in wanting to try this thing. And feeling like you're not alone is s- it's so grounding, having that sense of belonging
[00:07:29] Ellecia: So helpful.
[00:07:30] Jamie Love: Yeah.
[00:07:30] Ellecia: So helpful, and I think ev- everybody needs it.
[00:07:33] Jamie Love: Yeah, and, and I, I like what you're highlighting there that, like, it takes courage to show up to an in-person event, especially, like, as a single person.
Um- Yeah ... I, I notice, like, folks, especially, like, cis men feel like, "Is it okay for me to be here, like, without a partner?" Like, it, it's- Yeah ... invalidating to show up unless you have a partner with you. Um, but in the world I've been in with sex positivity, like, some folks show up as couples, [00:08:00] some folks show up with their polycule, and some show up as singles, and it is about the individual journey because, like, I've been in this community for almost 10 years, and I've seen people, you know, break up, deescalate, escalate, move in together, move out of each other's space, like, choose to be in community together and watch- Yeah
those communities grow and change as well. Like, it's really- Yeah ... about being on the journey together. I really am a big fan of relationships that are not so dependent on, like, this is the shape of it forever. We're always gonna live together. We're always gonna, like, be each other's primary, and that's gonna, like, it makes us, you know, feel secure.
But time goes by, things change, other offers come through, you know, maybe health changes. So it's more like, can we stay in each other's lives no matter what the circumstances are, is more the relationships I try- tend to foster these days, 'cause I've come to realize being a, someone who's in community and committed to community, everything is changing.
Like, like [00:09:00] all conditions- Oh, yeah ... are temporary.
[00:09:02] Ellecia: Yeah. Yeah. Actually, that's life.
[00:09:06] Jamie Love: Yeah. I stole that from my yoga teacher.
[00:09:09] Ellecia: Yeah, I love it. I love it, 'cause it's so true. It's like, uh, you know, especially- I work with so many people who, like, want to know. They wanna make a decision, like, "This is what is going to happen.
This is what our relationship's gonna look like. This is what I'm going to want. Forget that I haven't had any experience with any of these things that I say I want. I just have decided that that's what will work best." And then they go and do things, and they're like, "Oh, I actually don't want that. I want things to be different."
[00:09:35] Jamie Love: Yep. Yeah. Or you meet that new partner and you go, "Oh, they want certain things," so now we're compromising and fitting i- you know... Oh, or, "I- they want this thing. I didn't know I wanted that thing." So it adds- I didn't know it was an option ... a crazy new factor.
[00:09:51] Ellecia: Yeah. Yeah. It's amazing. It's amazing. Um, tell me about...
I'm curious about what, uh... I, uh... you [00:10:00] mentioned before we started recording that the... there's a bunch of events coming up. Can you, uh, tell me about those?
[00:10:05] Jamie Love: Yeah. Um, I'll, I'll start by talking about some of our private events. So, um, we, we offer education through Sex Positive World every month. Uh, we offer two of our four core classes, so it kinda oscillates back and forth.
And you have to do those classes to get access to these events, which is why I mention it. So let me tell you about the events, then I'll tell you about the classes. Okay. 'Cause that'll, that'll give a little taster. Um, one thing is our Los Angeles chapter, SPLA, which is moving towards becoming Sex Positive California, because California, we have, like, so many people up and down the state who are part of this movement.
Um, they just had an event called Starlight, which was out in Joshua Tree, where we got together on this property where they have, like, cabins. They have two different spaces for workshops, and just beautiful facilities for us to have a weekend of community building together. So we did food together. We did workshops together.[00:11:00]
Um, just y- there's something magical that happens when you gather folks. Like, it's like summer camp, where, like, those friends stick for life- Mm-hmm ... because you did this whole week together. Uh, but this is, like, sexy summer camp, but this one happens in the desert. Um, and when I say that, I mean, like, we build trust together.
We have, like, social mixers. We had a cuddle event. We had a primal play class. Um, we've had discussion groups there. And the final night, we have a really big party together. So it's, it's big and sexy and kinky, and they're gonna continue to do it. It worked out pretty, pretty well. There was, like, uh, 40 of us out in the desert celebrating.
Um, I've never done body painting, but I feel like that would be a good venue to try it out. And then- That's
[00:11:43] Ellecia: fun.
[00:11:44] Jamie Love: Yeah. And then like similar but something that's been going on for, um, I think we're on year number nine or 14. I don't remember, 'cause I'm not- One of those two ... the founder. I, I'm, I'm, I'm newer to sex positive world oddly, [00:12:00] um, is that we do our big convergence camp out.
And what happened to that is it's four days long. It's up in the, um, up in the forest up in Washington, and that one has the same thing where we have workshops with each other, we feed each other, there's tent camping, uh, there's yurts. But this place also has outdoor showers and a big hot tub. Um, they'll put out a pool for us also.
And we get to, again, like build community and get to know each other and do workshops for each other. And we pull people in from all over the world to join us. So we'll have a group of folks come up from our LA chapter, a group of folks from Utah, and we teach each other workshops that we've been doing locally.
It's how we get this like cross-pollination, intergenerational community building effort for four days that just happens out there in the forest. So I'm really excited that now there's two versions of this that are happening throughout the year. Um, and then Polytopia. Mm-hmm. Um, Polytopia you don't have to take any core [00:13:00] classes before you go, um, because it is a conference all around polyamory.
Uh, we bring in speakers, like Ellecia, you've gone and taught at this one for us before. Um, I can say that we got Jessica Fern to join us this year. There are- Yay ... a lot of community building tracks. Um, of course Jessica Fern is known for the Polysecure book, um, which I think so many people have gotten insight out of.
[00:13:26] Ellecia: Yeah,
[00:13:26] Jamie Love: definitely. Um, we have three workshop tracks for it. We'll have a big sexy show Saturday night, and tickets are on sale right now. That one happens September 19 and 20. It's in Portland, Oregon. And that's open to everybody. But since I still-
[00:13:40] Ellecia: Polytopia is so fun.
[00:13:42] Jamie Love: Huh?
[00:13:43] Ellecia: Polytopia is so fun. Yeah.
[00:13:45] Jamie Love: Yeah. It, it's gonna be.
And we're gonna have a big party the night before, like we're gonna go to the Humphone Festival and maybe do a little bit of reenactment with our SPP f- uh, family. Um, I mentioned before, like, the sexy events where they're, they're like sex [00:14:00] possible and you might see more nudity, which is not gonna happen at Polytopia because of the venue that we're at, so we're gonna keep it, um, a little more, uh, behind closed doors.
Um, the sexy events, you can check out our online classes, which includes, like, an orientation to sex positivity, a class on boundaries and boundary setting, and this people pleaser gets a lot out of that class. Um- Yeah ... Sexy Intersections was all about identities and how that affects how we feel about ourselves, our dating lives, and our sex lives.
And then the Pleasure Talk, which is like, what do we actually need to talk about in order to do anything sexy together? So-
[00:14:37] Ellecia: Yeah ...
[00:14:38] Jamie Love: we have all of those classes online every other month, so you can check us out and see if we're a good fit. And then if you come to those classes, you will start getting emails about these in-person events like Convergence and Starlight.
[00:14:50] Ellecia: That's so fun. I love the education that you guys are doing. Um, you know, people just need that. I mean, I, probably one of the most, uh, [00:15:00] hot topics that I cover with, with, when I'm wor- working with coaching clients is, like, boundaries. Like, how do I figure out what my boundaries are? How do I enforce them? How do I...
What do I do? What is a boundary?
[00:15:13] Jamie Love: Yeah. And then actually being able to hold it to say, like, "I said I needed private time, and then I gave that private time away." Um, holding- Yeah ... boundaries of schedule I think is a big one on the emotional side of boundaries because people tend to, when they first come to our class, they think about boundaries as like a touch thing, like asking for a hug before you just go in to get a hug.
Like that's- Mm ... our number one example, but it's also, like, if we're in a relationship, like how much communication do we want? That is a boundary. It's a preference- Yeah ... it's an agreement. But it starts by knowing, like, what your wants, needs, and desires are. And frankly- Yeah ... a lot of people don't have that listed out for themselves.
Like, it's the kind of thing, like you gotta journal about it. You gotta do some of that, like, somatic work [00:16:00] with yourself because, uh, if you're anything like me, I, I was raised in a religious household. Like having wants, needs, and de- desires was really stifled or really not- Yeah ... okay. Or some needs, wants, and desires were okay and others were not.
So it's, it's like you also have to like educate yourself about what your boundaries are, and it's a journey. 'Cause what my boundaries were two years ago is different than what they are today.
[00:16:27] Ellecia: Yeah, definitely. Definitely. Yeah. Yeah. So good. Um, you mentioned one of the classes that was happened at, um, uh, when you were, uh, at Joshua Tree.
You said a primal play class? Yeah. What
[00:16:44] Jamie Love: the heck was that? Um, so primal play, and I'll show off my Fight Club tattoo also. Um, so- Nice ... I do this with Lady V, who's also part of Sex Positive World. She's our remote education coordinator. She introduced me to this event called Bite Club, [00:17:00] like bite club, and people do pet play.
So it's th- it's a little different than like furries, which I think most people have heard of in a mainstream kinda way, usually the heel of a joke. Um, these are folks who, uh, are in the kink scene and are into pet play. So you think of people wearing like the dog mask or they wanna be a kitty, and it, it, it kinda goes a lot of different directions when it comes to kink because kink is really about what imagination game do we want to play together with props.
[00:17:32] Ellecia: Yeah.
[00:17:32] Jamie Love: So we do, um, this wrestling event and kind of primal play and the primal workshop was built on that. And the idea was more about what if we got into our animal selves and we were more wrestling with each other and being playful rather than trying to be humans who do a lot of talking for consent.
Mm-hmm. So primal play can be about like the chase, it can be about wrestling, it can be about predator play be- [00:18:00] prey between, uh, two folks. We also had, um, a primal hunt at our convergence campout last year. So we got like from one of the residents like the lay of the land about what to watch out for. Right.
Um, where it was okay to be chasing each other because not everybody wanted to see that, and we did not wanna disturb the neighbors. We wanted to make sure it was safe, sane, and consensual. Um- Yeah ... and the people who ran the workshop had actually brought some clothes from like Goodwill that they had cut in advance.
So if you were one of the predators, if you caught the prey, you could like grab their shirt and rip it off of them. Which is just like, however you feel about that, is not a normal thing that happens every day. So it really lets you- Right ... embody these pieces of yourself. So when I talk about pet play, it might be about just I'm gonna be a cat and I'm gonna rub up on people and just meow at them.
It could be about- Uh-huh ... being in a cuddle puddle where you're like genuinely like, "What if we were like animals and, you know, we, we pushed and, uh, played with each other more?" [00:19:00] It could be the wrestling or it could be kind of this predator-prey pursuit and a little bit more rough and tumble. So I think everybody should try pet play.
I've seen a lot of pet play events that are going up on FetLife. And of course, Bite Club happens in all these different cities. Um, it's gonna be in Portland again. We're talking about going back to the Bay. Um, but if you follow Lady V, you'll s- you'll find that event and you might find me there too.
That's
[00:19:25] Ellecia: so fun. That's so fun. I think, um, play, any kind of play, just, just embodying that like, like playful spirit is one of the very best ways to build intimacy with people and to build connection with people and to feel, um Be really present-
[00:19:44] Jamie Love: Yeah ...
[00:19:45] Ellecia: in yourself and be able to experience pleasure and experience joy and, like play is such a important ingredient.
Uh, so I really lo- I love this. Yeah. Thank you for sharing that.
[00:19:54] Jamie Love: Yeah, totally. Yeah, and I, I wanna mention too, like what I just said, I know [00:20:00] that there's been times, like I, I was injured last year and I was like, "I'm not doing any of that. That's way too active for me." Like, it sounds fun, but I wanna respect what my body can and can't do.
So like- Yeah ... play can come out in so many different ways. So like I mentioned body painting earlier, or one of the workshops we did this year, um, that I was surprised 'cause I, I've tried a lot of things i- in my time- Right ... in the sex positive world and like, I, I'm really spoiled in that way. Um, but I got to be, um, a human buffet table at one of our recent workshops, um, which was people would adorn your body with food, like sitting, like laying on a massage table naked.
Yeah. And then the next thing is everyone nibbles it off of you. So they're, they're not using like chopsticks. I don't know why people thought that. They're using their mouth on your body to get the food off, which was kind of like a bondage experience 'cause if I moved, I would drop the food on the-
[00:20:56] Ellecia: It's gonna fall.
[00:20:58] Jamie Love: Then sensory too, 'cause I couldn't [00:21:00] keep track of like who, who was doing what. Like, some folks are asking for verbal consent, but I made it clear I didn't need, I, I didn't need that. I was like, I'm kind of here for what happens in the sensory experience. So like play can look like so many different things because I got to be a really inac- in an inactive role, but I, I was so blissed out when I got off of the table for that.
We had a dessert round after and I was like, "I need a minute. I'm not ready." Uh-
[00:21:28] Ellecia: That's so fun. Oh
[00:21:30] Jamie Love: So all your friends should eat off of each other. I highly recommend it.
[00:21:36] Ellecia: Have had that experience.
[00:21:37] Jamie Love: Yeah. Yeah, what'd you think?
[00:21:40] Ellecia: Fun. Yeah, yeah. Um, I also, uh, love the idea, and I always tell people this, is like, you know, we talk about these things that, that you can experience and it might feel, uh, [00:22:00] like, too far outside of your comfort zone or like- Yeah ... "Whoa, I don't know how I'd feel."
But, but I think it's important to always tell people that, like, being there is participating. Like- Mm-hmm ... you know, like, you can't have exhibitionists without voyeurs. Like, being there and experiencing it, just maybe watching or maybe just, you know, experiencing in small ways is a part of the experience and is a part of, of participation.
And I think people think they have to do all the things, and, "Oh, if I don't wanna do all the things, then I shouldn't go."
[00:22:30] Jamie Love: Yeah. Yeah, yeah. No, you're, you're highlighting one of my favorite sex party rules, the voyeurism is participation or observation, we say when we, when we're doing- Yes ... our earlier classes in Sex Positive.
Um, 'cause yeah, even like, I, I think we get in our heads like, like, "My, it must go to extreme." Like, and especially in American thinking, it's like, "What's my edge?" is kind of the starting point as opposed to- Yeah. ... "What would feel good?" Uh, which is part of what we talk about a lot in Sex Positive [00:23:00] is, like, rewiring that.
Um- Yeah ... because, like, I, I know for a friend of mine, like, I do cuddles, and I do them in the style of Cuddle Sanctuary, which means there's a point, there's a place in the room, many of our events have this, called the Solo Salon, where you can go take a break and no one will interact with you. Which, like, as an introvert, love that because sometimes I just can't people, and I don't care that you're trying to be helpful, I can't people right now.
[00:23:26] Ellecia: Yeah.
[00:23:27] Jamie Love: So whatever the reason is for you, that's one of my reasons is sometimes I just can't be interacting and I have to, like, go inside and reset. Um, I have a friend who would go to those when she was first part of Sex Positive world and sex positivity and would only sit in the Solo Salon, would not participate in the cuddle.
And, and the way she tells it is, like, that was the edge. Like, just seeing people in that space not having sex, just cuddling in their pajamas, being sweet with each other, getting verbal consent. [00:24:00] And eventually she became a cuddle coach. So it made a big impact to be able to be in that integrity of like, "I just wanna watch to see like how I feel about it, and then I'm gonna leave.
I'm gonna go sleep on it and think about it." Yeah. "And maybe next time I'll participate or maybe I won't, or maybe I won't watch it again." So like letting people be in that integrity really lets them make, um, choices in their sovereignty. So- Yeah ... when we have these events, like the eating off each other event, like we'll do that again in the future.
This isn't your only opportunity to try it. So we try to make space for that so that you can really say no to an experience and not feel like you're missing out on something. You can really feel like, "I made the choice that was right for me."
[00:24:48] Ellecia: I love that. That's so good. I think it's so important to like just that people know that, that, that that is an option, that that's available, because it's hard to try new things.
[00:24:58] Jamie Love: Yeah. I, I also see [00:25:00] the like, the disconnect of like what we're supposed to want and what I actually want. Mm. I'm supposed to want this heteronormative sex that goes to orgasm, and if we don't get to orgasm, we did it wrong. Even though what I actually want is sensation and nourishment and to have my whole body activated and be in a sweet spot.
Mm. Maybe I'm not even interested in orgasm. I'm really interested in like co-regulation. So people will desire that co-regulation and then be like, "I- is it weird that all I want is to cuddle? Like, like sex is nice and I like orgasms, but like is it weird that I just wanna cuddle?" So we, we get to deprogram a little bit of that in Sex Positive because actually many people desire so much more than just PIV sex or orgasm-focused sex.
And I, I do say that as either/or because they get put together a lot, but you can actually separate quite a bit when it comes to how we think about our [00:26:00] sexuality.
[00:26:01] Ellecia: Yeah. Yeah. So good. It's amazing. I love the work that you guys do.
[00:26:06] Jamie Love: Yeah.
[00:26:06] Ellecia: Yeah. Is there anything I haven't asked you that you wanna share?
[00:26:13] Jamie Love: What should I share about?
Um, there's a lot of really cool stuff happening when it comes to like Sex Positive world with our chapters. So I wanna encourage people to go check out our website, check out some of our webinars. Yeah. Um, if you go through our scholarship process, you can even go for free because we really believe in not letting money be the thing that stops people from getting sex education, um, or to get their communication skills up, because we have classes about more than just sexuality skills.
There's a lot about communication and health. Um, we just did a class around, um, herpes and the stigma around it because people don't understand, 'cause of course STIs are, are the bad ones, so we don't look into it, and then we have the sex, and then everybody freaks out. So we like to make sure that we [00:27:00] have a variety of offerings, not just our core classes, but tertiary as well.
Um, if you check in on the summer, during the summer, we have less of the tertiary classes 'cause we wanna go outside and we wanna go to sex camp. I mean convergence. That's its secret name is sex camp. Um, so I wanna encourage people to come join. Um- Yeah ... I'm looking at what's happening in the world, in particular when it comes to AI, which I'm not gonna linger on too long.
But what I will say is I'm finding myself in a state of not knowing what I can and cannot trust when it comes to what's in my feed. I don't even know if I'm talking to a real person because the technology is getting so good so fast. Yeah. So I think many of us are looking for ways to connect with people in real life.
I think there's a lot of power behind that in, like, the power of knowing who your neighbors are. So if, like, the power goes out in your neighborhood, you're not walking up to a stranger. You, you know who they are, and you can be there for [00:28:00] each other. Um, or you can just have a barbecue and have fun together.
I'm really fortunate that my neighbors know who we are, what we're up to, and, uh, you know, uh, I live in Portland, Oregon, so it's very sex positive. But I just wanna say I'm, I'm generally just pushing people towards, like, open your home up, have people over, go meet at a park, go, go find ways to connect with people.
And I see this community building that we do as sex positive as a way for people to meet together and do that. A lot of folks, they, they self-select and they go, "Absolutely not. It's too weird. It's too sexual. I can't go there." Um, but I think it's really important that we have sex positivity in our culture because who we love, how we present ourselves into the world, um, what rights we have as parents, as property owners, as employees, you know?
Like- Mm-hmm ... this matters. So I think there's just a lot of beautiful things to be said about the sex positive movement, and [00:29:00] then also, like, the community building efforts that's happening not just in our community, but across the board. So I'm, I'm really wanting to frame that for people these days, 'cause it used to be like, you know, like we're trying to push or pull with, like, free love or with, like, queer rights, so now we're really working on the rights for polyamorous people, uh, which we just got passed in Portland, Oregon.
Um, I got to go speak in front of City Hall about that, um, asking for them to explicitly name non-monogamy as a protected class when it comes to being employed. So, um, you have rights-
[00:29:31] Ellecia: That's amazing ...
[00:29:32] Jamie Love: here in I believe in seven different cities. Like, these things, they really matter, and I've made so many friends through that, and now I know what they stand for when it comes to, like, labor rights.
Like- Yeah ... this is the way that we take control of what is happening when it comes to our rights, when it comes to our farmland, when it comes to how we're interacting with the rest of the world So I really just wanna encourage people, like, to have that courage to go try something. And it doesn't [00:30:00] have to be Sex Positive World, but I, I think we're pretty cool and you should come hang out with us.
Um, you know, but maybe it's a dance community, like ecstatic dance or, like, maybe going out to the club doing that. Maybe for you it's about gaming or it's about D&D. I have met some really cool groups that are just all about bisexuality. Like, they go on hikes- Hmm ... and they're bi. Because
[00:30:24] Ellecia: Bi hiking.
[00:30:25] Jamie Love: Nice.
'Cause sometimes we're very shy with each other when we're bi, so it's really great to have that. So I just really wanna push people to say, like, connecting with each other and being able to have that empathy for each other to, to be in each other's lives, like, that's sex positive as fuck.
[00:30:41] Ellecia: Yes. Yes. I love that.
That's so good. Amazing.
[00:30:46] Jamie Love: Yeah.
[00:30:46] Ellecia: Amazing. Um, what is, what is your website?
[00:30:50] Jamie Love: Um, we are at sexpositiveworld.org. That's
[00:30:54] Ellecia: easy.
[00:30:54] Jamie Love: It is easy. Cool. Yeah.
[00:30:57] Ellecia: Amazing. Amazing. Fantastic. [00:31:00] Uh, thank you so much for being here. Yeah. This was so
[00:31:02] Jamie Love: fun. Thanks for having me.
[00:31:04] Ellecia: And, and doing everything that you do.
[00:31:06] Jamie Love: I love it. I... Hopefully I'll be coming to a city near you.
[00:31:10] Ellecia: Yay. Thank you so much for joining me in this conversation with Jamie Love.
One of my favorite takeaways from this episode today is that connection doesn't require perfection. You don't have to have everything figured out to find community. You don't have to know exactly what you want before you start exploring. Sometimes the bravest thing that you can do is simply show up. If you want to learn more about Jamie, Sex Positive World, uh, their educational programs, events, community opportunities, you'll find all those links in the show notes.
And if this episode resonated with you or you found it helpful, I'd love it if you'd subscribe, uh, leave a review. S- give me a comment. I reply. Uh, share it with a friend. Those little steps, those little things that you do help more people find the show [00:32:00] and remind them that they're not alone in all of this journey of non-monogamy, right?
So until, uh, until next time, take what resonates, leave the rest. There's nothing wrong with being curious about who you are, what you want, how you love. You're amazing. I promise. Bye.