How to Talk to a Partner Who Insists on OPP, Forced Triads, or “We Only Date Together”

What do you do when your partner says they are open to non monogamy, but only under very specific rules?

Only dating women.

Only forming a triad.

Only dating together as a couple.

In this episode of Nope! We’re Not Monogamous, non monogamous relationship coach Ellecia Paine breaks down what’s really underneath rules like the One Penis Policy and forced triads, and how to talk about them without turning the conversation into a power struggle.

This episode is a continuation of Episode 138, where we explored why dating separately is such an important growth tool in polyamory. Episode 139 focuses on the communication skills needed when a partner feels scared of autonomy and uses structure to manage fear.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why OPP and “only triads” are usually rooted in fear and comparison

• How monogamous conditioning shapes control-based relationship rules

• How to talk about autonomy without shaming or self abandoning

• The difference between care based boundaries and restrictive rules

• How to stay compassionate while still honoring your own needs

This episode is for anyone navigating ethical non monogamy, polyamory, or opening a relationship and feeling stuck around rules, jealousy, or control.

🎧 Listen now and continue the conversation started in Episode 138.

If you want deeper support, learn more about Ellecia’s one-on-one coaching program Breaking Free From Monogamy.