Rewriting Your Relationship Code: Ditching the Defaults for Real Freedom, Ep. 130

Are you stuck running relationship patterns you never consciously chose? In this episode of Nope! We’re Not Monogamous, I’m breaking down how to identify the default “rules” you inherited about love, sex, and partnership, and how to rewrite them so your relationships actually work for YOU.

So many of us grew up believing myths like:

  • “If you’re really in love, you won’t be attracted to anyone else.”

  • “To be a good partner, you have to want everything your partner wants.”

  • “Jealousy means love.”

The problem? These defaults often create shame, confusion, and conflict in non-monogamous and polyamorous relationships.

In this episode, you’ll learn the 5 steps to rewriting your relationship code so you can experience real freedom:

  1. Identify the beliefs you inherited.

  2. Question what’s actually true for YOU.

  3. Create new agreements with intention.

  4. Practice new habits until they stick.

  5. Celebrate every time you choose yourself.

By the end, you’ll see how rewriting your defaults allows you to show up with more confidence, clarity, and joy in every connection.

What you’ll take away from this episode:

  • Why inherited relationship beliefs hold us back in non-monogamy.

  • The surprising truths about love, attraction, and jealousy.

  • Practical tools to create new agreements with your partners.

  • How gratitude and celebration make new patterns stick.

  • Why freedom is a daily practice, not a one-time decision.

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Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar Lindstein
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Relationship Anxiety in Polyamory: It’s Not Just You, Ep. 129