Ditching the Apps: Rozie's Roadmap to Meaningful Polyamorous Connections
Are you tired of endlessly swiping on dating apps, feeling like you're getting nowhere? If so, you're not alone. Many of us in the non-monogamous community have felt the frustration of trying to find meaningful connections through traditional dating platforms. But what if there was a more intentional, human-driven approach to finding love and connection?
Enter Rozie Erlewine, a compassionate matchmaker and relationship enthusiast who's been making waves in the Seattle polyamory scene since 2017. As the founder of Seattle Inclusive Matchmaking, Rozie is on a mission to help people ditch the apps and embrace a more thoughtful approach to dating.
The Problem with Dating Apps
Let's face it: dating apps can be addictive, but they're often doing us a disservice. The constant swiping and surface-level interactions can leave us feeling disconnected and unfulfilled. Rozie points out that this approach to dating can even be traumatizing for some people.
A Fresh Approach: Polyamorous Speed Dating
One of the innovative ways Rozie is bringing people together is through polyamorous speed dating events. Picture this: a small brewery, 26 people, and the opportunity to make genuine connections in a supportive environment.
What sets these events apart is their inclusive nature. Unlike traditional speed dating setups, Rozie's events don't adhere to heteronormative standards. Instead, they embrace the diversity of the queer and non-binary community, allowing people to connect regardless of gender or sexual orientation.
The Power of Intentional Matchmaking
At the heart of Rozie's approach is the belief in slowing down and dating with intention. Her matchmaking process is far from a cold, algorithmic system. Instead, it's a human-driven approach that takes into account the nuances of each individual's desires, boundaries, and relationship styles.
Here's what makes Rozie's matchmaking unique:
Personalized Approach: She starts by asking, "What are you looking for in a matchmaker?" This allows her to tailor her services to each person's specific needs.
Comprehensive Profiling: Using a detailed spreadsheet system, Rozzy systematically gathers information to make thoughtful matches.
Focus on Community: It's not just about romantic connections. Rozzy encourages people to think about building a supportive network of friends and potential partners.
Navigating the Complexities of Polyamory
One of the challenges in polyamorous matchmaking is the diversity of relationship styles and preferences. Rozie navigates this by helping people get clear on what they're looking for. Whether it's a nesting partner, a co-parent, or a more casual connection, she works to find compatible matches.
Addressing Common Misconceptions
Rozie highlighted a common misconception about polyamorous relationships: the idea that you can't have serious, committed relationships if you're polyamorous. This couldn't be further from the truth. Many polyamorous individuals form deep, lasting bonds with multiple partners.
The Importance of Self-Work
One crucial aspect of successful polyamorous relationships that Rozie emphasized is the importance of self-work. Before diving into the dating pool, it's essential to:
Address past traumas
Get clear on your values and boundaries
Develop healthy communication skills
Work on managing jealousy and insecurity
Dealing with Jealousy
Speaking of jealousy, Rozie shared some valuable insights on this common challenge in non-monogamous relationships. She suggests that when jealousy arises, it's often a sign of feeling insecure in the relationship. The key is to ask yourself, "What can I do to feel more secure?"
Remember, it's okay to feel jealous sometimes. The important thing is not to let it rule your decision-making. If you find yourself overwhelmed by jealousy, it might be time to do some inner work or seek support.
Building a Supportive Network
One of the beautiful aspects of polyamory that Rozie highlighted is the potential to build a network of caring, supportive relationships. These connections can go beyond just romantic or sexual partnerships. They can be people who show up for you in times of need, whether it's taking care of you after surgery or being there for you during a crisis.
Embracing a New Paradigm
As we move away from traditional, monogamous models of relationships, we have the opportunity to redefine what commitment and care look like. Rozie encourages us to see our partners as whole people and to show up for them in meaningful ways, regardless of relationship structure.
If you're in the Seattle area and interested in exploring intentional matchmaking or polyamorous speed dating, you can find Seattle Inclusive Matchmaking on Facebook or reach out to Rozie directly at rozieerlewine@gmail.com. Remember, love is abundant, and with the right approach, you can create fulfilling, authentic connections that enrich your life.
