Long-Distance Love: Non-monogamy Across Continents with CJ, Ep. 59
Are you in a long-distance relationship and curious about exploring non-monogamy? Today's guest, CJ, a sex coach and pleasure advocate, walks us through their personal experience of how non-monogamy played a vital role in navigating the challenges of being apart from their partner across two continents. We take a deep look into the significance of communication, creating a non-judgmental environment, and the importance of touch in maintaining intimacy, despite the miles.
Navigating jealousy and exploration in a relationship, especially in a non-monogamous one, can be tricky. CJ opens up about their journey of confronting the fear of being replaced and how they managed their anxiety without letting it hinder their partner's experiences. We discuss the delicate balance of sharing feelings without spoiling the partner's experience, and CJ reveals how they turned their partner's experience into something erotic, showcasing the exciting opportunities non-monogamy can offer.
Want to connect with CJ?
www.noshamewithcj.com
Have you thought about working with Ellecia? Hop on a free call to see what it's all about! https://elleciapaine.podia.com/clarity-chat
📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. If you would like the behind the scenes exclusive content, become a Patron today! www.patreon.com/notmonogamous
Get free shipping on my favorite toys!!
About Us
Ellecia Paine is a non-monogamy relationship coach who helps people navigate ENM (enthusiastic non-monogamy), polyamory, open relating, swinging, kink, and life in general.
Listen in to the candid conversations that give you a peek into the inner lives of other non-monogamous folks. Hear how they've overcome challenges like jealousy, insecurity, and social scrutiny. And celebrate with them as they share all the reasons it's worth it to have relationships that don't fit in the box.
Transcription
00:00:00
And you're.
00:00:07
I love that so much.
00:00:11
All good. CJ alicia, I am so glad you're here. This is fantastic. What a fun, fun way to begin. And I love leaving things mysterious for people like yes.
00:00:31
Can I just start off by saying your environ, your little area is just very calming and relaxing and thank you for that. It's beautiful. And your smile just vibrant. Thank you so much for having me. I appreciate that.
00:00:54
This backdrop is to hide all of my masks. Know that that's okay. Yeah, it's my literal mask.
00:01:08
Amazing. We're going to talk about unmasking today, I hope. Sure, yeah. Let's talk about all the things. Totally.
00:01:22
Okay, let's start with no, we're not monogamous. I would love to hear how non monogamy manifests in your life.
00:01:40
Wow. Let's put it this way, I wouldn't be in the marriage that I'm in if it weren't for that.
00:01:51
Yeah, more about that. Yeah. My husband and I are on our second marriages and lessons learned. Not so much for me, but for him, that things do change. Maybe he was married in his twenty s, and when I think back to my 20s, it's like I didn't know who the hell I was and I'm still figuring that out and exploring and things change.
00:02:23
So one of his requirements was that he was not going to be monogamous anymore. And lucky for me, I was already on that path and lucky for him, too. And it was like, cool. Yes. Sounds good.
00:02:43
And so we are recently married as of earlier this year, after a seven year long distance relationship on two different continents. Amazing. And if you think about that, what are you going to try to be monogamous like that? Really? People do that's.
00:03:07
Fine. But both of us are very sensory and touch oriented and like, being without touch, which doesn't necessarily mean intimate sexual touch is important for us. It's not for everybody, but we needed to have that and there are other ways of getting it through cuddles and things like that. I'm also a cuddle therapist and provider, a professional cuddler and a facilitator for group cuddles.
00:03:51
It made sense from the beginning. It was like, yes, okay, cool. We have to not going to be able to visit each other on the weekends. And it was not a problem for me because I had already been exploring that with a previous partner and kind of plugged into a community. So, yeah, it's continued.
00:04:16
It's going to continue. It's not going away. It's not like, oh, because we were long distance, we're doing this thing, it's like, no, that's just our chosen relationship style. So you guys were on two different continents for how long did you say? Seven years.
00:04:32
Holy cow. That included 28 months of physical separation during our wonderful pandemic because of strict border closures and controls. Oh my God, you guys must have solid communication.
00:04:52
I think it's a testament to that, for sure. Yeah, absolutely. Wow, that's crazy. So you said that it was fine for you because you already had community and you were already exploring that. How was it for him?
00:05:11
Oh, he was thrilled. It was his requirement.
00:05:18
I think that in terms of us, it's great and our attitudes about it. Now, the execution of that type of relationship style, particularly with aging, can be it sounds like a great thing, but it can be an uphill climb. Just because you say this thing and this is what you want doesn't mean you get everything that you want all the time in terms of who's available to you and the amount of energy that needs to go into that relationship. And a lot of what would occur for him was it appeared that the women he was seeing would kind of accept it in the beginning and then not really. They would kind of fizzle out because they realized our bond was so tight even though we're in two separate places, they weren't going to be the primary.
00:06:29
And I think that was frustrating for a lot of people and also that they were kind of dabbling in non monogamy and they were open to it, but then realized it wasn't for them. Yeah, I hear that a lot, where a lot of people are open up or are open and they start dating. When there are people out there that are dating, they're like, yeah, I mean, what's not monogamy? That's dating, right. That's what that is until I find someone that I suddenly become emotionally invested in and now I no longer want that.
00:07:07
But a lot of people don't realize that until rubber hits the road and they're like, oh, now my heart is getting mixed in this and it's no longer a thing I want. Yeah. And at this point for us, we don't really identify as polyamorous, although I think we both have the capacity for that. It hasn't it's hard to really explain how deep our bond is for a multitude of reasons. And I think for some people, our sort of structure as anchor partners and nesting partners and primary partners, really, because we are each other's priority and we are respectful to other people and have an understanding of that might.
00:08:04
Be a struggle for them, but we don't particularly me do not have the bandwidth at this time to take on another deep love relationship. And that may shift at some point. We're recently married, we're recently together, even though it's been seven years. We're still in our honeymoon phase in a lot of ways and still figuring out how we can open up in all the different ways that we are and really learn about each other.
00:08:44
The of this relationship style is complex and like I said, just because you say it's the thing doesn't mean it's like all the options are open to you. Right. And he keeps saying, well, I think particularly as an older man, and I'm like, well, really, let's talk about that because as an older woman, I have opinions about that too. So let's just say for older people in general, it can be an interesting thing. But of course, being younger would also have its own things.
00:09:28
The benefit of being older is that our kids are grown, have one at home, but they're mostly grown and on their path. So that's a wonderful thing because that opens up a lot of freedom.
00:09:51
Family hours are tough to navigate sometimes. What a solid self awareness, though, to have of like, this is what we're available for, this is our bandwidth, this is what we want to prioritize right now. And being able to share that is so important. Yeah, I think he's got more energy and more extroversion tendencies than I do. I love to have my my alone time.
00:10:26
I love to just relish in the quiet. And I was recently away and while I was away, I was really thinking about that. Like, this is the first time he's been alone in our home together and what is that going to look like for him? Well, he scheduled two dates and I was like, great. But for me, I was thinking like, what would I do?
00:10:53
And all I could think of was like, nothing. I would do nothing. I would be alone. Like, I wouldn't even want to see friends. Just sort of like, relish and like, I have it to myself again.
00:11:08
Yeah. So different approaches. Yeah. And I love that because so many people try to approach everything as it has to be equal to be fair. But like, I don't same thing you want.
00:11:23
Yeah. And that's also just I love that you said that because that's true. Even I think I used to have some of that. That's not fair or well, I have to make up for this discrepancy in how many people I'm seeing or something. And at some point that just faded away.
00:11:50
It's like, that's not really like that's looking at what's going on from an external viewpoint instead of what are my needs? What do I want? And I'm learning more and more that we don't often know what we like or what we want or what we need. And it is sort of this outside version or like other people's opinions or judgments or what's happening in the world, or what we're expected to do, instead of like, hey, wait a second, what do I really want here? What do I need?
00:12:36
Yeah, totally.
00:12:44
I'm curious.
00:12:47
I'm curious about having been in this relationship for a really long time and separate and non monogamous. What were the biggest challenges of that?
00:13:05
The initial stages really were the most difficult. The unknown. I was really kind of cynical in the beginning when we first started talking, I was like, really? This is where I'm going to find this person is on another continent. That's great.
00:13:28
I just had a lot of, like, this doesn't sound great, and a lot of my friends were like, this is not going to be good for you. And even though we became very close and spent a lot of time talking and getting to know each other and really going deep over the phone and Skype and stuff, I still had some concerns for maybe a year. Or so of like someone within geographical proximity could replace me. And just sort of like that fear. Particularly when he would be going out on dates where the person was closer to our age.
00:14:21
That made me nervous because, like, a younger person who might want to have a family or whatever, it might just be like an experimentation thing or having some fun, but someone who was closer to my age always was, like, just nervous. And I learned how to sit with that anxiety and not bring it into his experience and try to sabotage his experience. And I worked it out, and a lot of it had to do with sort of our sexual kink preferences and our bonding on those things. And I realized that the best way for me to navigate this was to take care of myself and to tell myself it was going to be okay, that I can't control it, and if he chooses to be with someone else and this ends that's okay. I'm going to be okay.
00:15:34
But the other thing is that it kind of challenged me to become even better at the things that I knew he loved and including including the ability to be open and not be jealous or kind of needy or sabotaging anything. And I built up my own confidence around that space and just was like, no one else can be like this. And I'm sure that's not true, but that's what I would tell myself. You are the best at just letting him be him and letting him do what he needs to do in his explorations, and then by allowing that and giving him that space. What I got back from him was just such a gift that I've given to both of us, really.
00:16:40
Oh, God, I love that so much. Sitting. So you had said you sat with the anxiety, and this is a thing I talk with so many people about is like acceptance, right? Like, acceptance of what is because it is. It's like we want to fight, fight, fight, or like, we want to jump into action to make things change so we don't have to feel uncomfortable, which just drags that discomfort out so much longer.
00:17:09
So, like, sitting with the anxiety. So I'm curious. You said you sat with it, and you didn't want to bring that into his experience. This, I think, is the fine line that people struggle with, of how do I share what's happening for me? How do I be open and transparent and honest and talk about how I'm feeling?
00:17:28
Right? That's one of the things we tell people is talk to your partner about how you're feeling while also not making every experience that they're having be brought down by my hard feelings.
00:17:42
It's this teeter totter of like so I'm curious, how did you balance that? Did you sit with it while he was out and talk to him later? Oh, yeah, I was not that person. And I have a hard time understanding people that are they have to stay in touch with the person while they're out with somebody else. There can be some of that and be respectful and things come up.
00:18:15
But if it's about them needing to be part of the date almost, or ending the date or whatever, like, when are you coming home? I think how can you cope in a different way? How can you soothe yourself? Right.
00:18:39
I think that's something that takes some practice. Yeah, okay. So I would talk to him about it later and also really be able to try to open up. And there were times when it was a struggle, like, maybe I don't want to hear that and just starting to establish boundaries, like, okay, now I need a little bit of separation, give me some space here afterwards and hearing about how it went. And then eventually what started happening was because we have a particular type of kinky relationship, I began to eroticize the his experience and really turn it into a turn on for me, where it's hard to explain, but whatever little I would recommend, whatever little part of that that feels like maybe there's some eroticism, there capitalize on that.
00:20:00
Because then it's like it can open up so many things between the two of you. Potentially. Right. And it's like that's. One of the benefits I think of all of this is that there's such opportunity for exploring the erotic nature of having different partners and people bringing different things in and like the closeness that it can bring within the existing relationship.
00:20:40
I'm happy to talk more about that if you want.
00:20:46
Vague, I was just going to say, okay, first of all, there is a little bit of existential kink to it. I've found that when I dig into the sense what anxiety feels like in my body, it's very similar to what turn on feels like in my body. And the difference is what I'm thinking, like what my thought is about it. So there is very much an existential kink happening there where you can take this sensation in your body and go, okay, this could be a bad thing or it could be a good thing and how am I thinking about it, what's my mindset about it, that can change it. But also you mentioned your particular kink a couple of times and so now I have to ask.
00:21:30
Yeah, well, I don't know if there's a particular one, but our relationship is a DS where he's the dominant and I'm the submissive and that's also how we came together was both craving that type of relationship style. So, yeah, I mean, part of that he could technically be the person who's like, well, I'm doing it anyway and you have to suck it up, but he's not that kind of dominant. He's not that type of person. I wouldn't be with him if he was. He's very respectful and wants to make this a beautiful experience for both of us.
00:22:13
And so part of that for me is this can be unusual for some people. I enjoy at times feeling less than, and I do not believe that I am. And I have a very strong sense of self and a pretty unwavering confidence. I have moments just like anybody else, but I think because of that, I have a solid base and then I can play on the edges. So a lot of what we do is psychological and I don't know if you've ever heard of a female version of a cuckold, which is a cuck queen.
00:23:00
I've played with that and I actually really enjoy it. And part of my thing is humiliation and I would just kind of start play with on my own, in my own head first and really kind of feeling like, oh, does that feel good to me? And how can I turn that into something exciting and more of a turn on? And yeah, it's pretty solid now. That's amazing.
00:23:31
Oh, I love that there's something and I love the way you are talking about it because this is one of those dynamics that has a lot of I mean, first of all, there's a lot of people that don't even know about it or understand it or know what it is. But then you go a little bit further and it's a dynamic that a lot of people will use as a way of shaming people. Right? Yeah. And so hearing you talk about it with no shame, just like, this is what I'm doing, this is what I enjoy.
00:24:12
I love that, which I haven't even asked you about your work, but I know that you work with shame, with your clients. And so just hearing the way that you talk about it is like, oh, look at how embodied that is. Freaking fantastic. Yeah. Thank you.
00:24:26
Thank you for recognizing that. Absolutely. Yeah, I mean, I think there's so much power in that. It seems like there isn't, but there is a ton because I am turning into something reframing, jealousy, insecurity, and turning it into something erotic and something that turns me on and something really titillating and also brings my partner closer to me. Right.
00:25:01
Yeah.
00:25:05
We all have things, we have the potential for things, but a lot of us have something that is like, is that normal, is that okay? I feel like I'm the only one who does this or who wants this or who thinks about this, and it is so not true. Right. If you can think of it, so has someone else. If you can think of it, it's a thing.
00:25:36
Totally. Yeah.
00:25:41
Sadly, a lot of people live in the shadows with those kinds of things, and because we don't normalize it, which normalizing that type of thing might take some of the charge out of it, who knows? But just being able to admit that's what I enjoy without the sort of reaction or, oh, there's something wrong with you, or pathologizing these types of things is, I think, very dangerous. Yeah. Beautiful.
00:26:24
Okay, so I just had three questions run through my head. Let's see.
00:26:39
MMM.
00:26:42
I'm curious about I'm curious about the okay, so you guys were long distance for a really long time, and now you're together, and I feel like there's this, like, I want to see you. I want to see you. I want to touch you. I want to touch you. I want to be with you.
00:27:09
I want to be with you. I want to be with you. And now we're together. Now what the longing? How much was the longing?
00:27:18
Yeah.
00:27:24
It'S so funny that you're talking about this, because I'm listening to the erotic mind right now, and he's talking about that. And I do think for a lot of people, that's probably part of the erotic charge behind things. And I think back and I'm like, oh, I was asked some questions by some friends who are therapists along the way, like, kind of feeling like, yeah, but living together is going to be different. How is that going to be? And I was like, what are you talking about?
00:28:03
Now I feel like, oh, that's what they meant.
00:28:08
I think I did have some concerns about that as well, but after the Borders opened up, I was able to spend half the year in his country last year and live together. And, yeah, there was definitely like, what is this going to be like after not seeing each other for 28 months in person? So, yeah, it's not a concern for me. And I feel like our particular relationship style in terms of DS, we've only begun to explore that, and because of privacy situations at home and life and running a business and him running a business and just getting on our feet as a household, as a marital unit, has its own challenges right now. And I keep thinking, oh, God, when we have the space, the energy, the time to really explore this is not that we're not doing it now, but it's like bits and pieces.
00:29:38
And when there's more opening there, I think that issue it's a non issue because we're both motivated to continue that and to work on that kind of thing and to really tap into some of the places that we haven't been yet. I love that. I think that's a really important that's one of the advantages of non monogamy for a lot of people, is you can build in some of that longing, that desire that isn't there if you have the thing totally true. And that's when they're out or a weekend away with somebody, you build that in and then it's like, I can't wait till they get back. Or what is it going to be like on my weekend?
00:30:31
Or whatever it is? And yeah, I think that's part of it. That's very true. Yeah. If you need that, you can actually schedule that in right away on your own, even if it's not on a date.
00:30:49
It could just be like a conference or whatever and then the reunion.
00:30:58
Yeah. I'm curious if what is the most inappropriate or awkward or uncomfortable or intrusive thing people have said to you or asked you about your relationship?
00:31:30
Gosh, I feel like in a way, it's almost on me because I am so open. I feel like I don't know when I should have more of a filter. It's just sort of like letting out little bits of information and seeing how they land with somebody. In terms of inappropriate things, I would say not in terms of our relationship, although maybe, okay, here's one thing. Part of our dynamic is not just him being out.
00:32:09
It's also me and the charge that he gets from that. I think someone did say to me once, well, he's a cut gold. And I was like, no, that's not it. It's more like he's telling me to go do this thing. And yeah, there's a whole deep conversation there.
00:32:35
So I think that assumption can be one thing if I'm being slutty or whatever. The other thing is that I think it's pretty common when you're a sex positive and openly sexual female bodied person, in particular men, to take that as an opportunity to escalate sexuality or sexual intimacy very quickly or to make assumptions that are not appropriate or wanted. And that was a frustration for me in dating, particularly as stating that I want to be submissive, I want to behave in submissive ways sexually. Oh my God.
00:33:39
It was very tricky because that's what I knew was turning me on. But to talk about that just brought a lot of negative experiences my way in terms of dating, not actual intimate experiences, because I had my guard up. I really had to be very intuitive, feel it in my body, like, do I trust this person? And going from a coffee date into an intimate space, they were wanting to accelerate that. And I'm like, no, you don't get it.
00:34:22
It's not an automatic thing. You have to build the trust. And I think that was one thing for us that was really beneficial because we talked for five months before we met in person. So if we had been closer physically, we probably wouldn't have had that. So it really gave us opportunity to learn more about each other, really ask the questions that made sense and not escalate it into a sensual or sexual space until much further down the road.
00:35:00
And I think that was really beneficial for us. Yeah, I love that. Thank you for sharing that while you were talking. It brought to mind for me yeah, dating? Holy cow.
00:35:15
How did you I have a lot of clients that are like, they open up their relationship, they start dating, and then they're like, oh, my God, this is a nightmare. Why are all these dudes coming at me, like, throwing their dick pics at me and just assuming that because I am non monogamous or whatever, forward things they're putting on their profile or letting people know about the level of overstep and entitlement. It's wild. Yeah, it's wild. Literally, just having a podcast where I talk about sex has total strangers on the Internet thinking that I want them.
00:36:00
Like, no, I don't. If you're listening right now, no, I don't want you unless you're someone. I've said, I do want you. But talking about checking your intuition, noticing your body, going with, listening to your instincts about people, what did that feel like? How did you know what that was?
00:36:24
Because I think a lot of especially people socialized as women doubt their first instincts, and they go, oh, they're probably just a nice guy, and they're awkward, or they're just saying something. I'm misinterpreting it, or the eye roll. Right? Well, yeah, and, you know, there were there were negative experiences. I mean, I can look back now and be like, wait a second.
00:37:02
I could call that an assault.
00:37:06
And the recognition of that is, like, that's deep and it's painful, and a lot of people don't really want to think about those things. And I think in order to get stronger and to build boundaries, you kind of need to face those things.
00:37:33
Part of being a cuddle facilitator is a practice of boundaries and inquiry in terms of what you want, what you're looking for in the moment, and what you're willing to negotiate. And sadly, most of us have had those intuitive instincts overridden by societal or parental familial pressures of just like, oh, no, you need to go hug so and so, or whatever, be nice, or this and that. And then on top of that, from my experience, pleasing as part of my superpower as a submissive, but yes, and wait a second, doesn't mean anything goes, and it doesn't mean right away. So just realizing, like, okay, I think it's partially eroticizing the pleaser in me, but it's made me stronger in terms of recognizing that I'm not willing to do everything and to put my own needs, desires, and boundaries to the side for the pleasure of somebody else. And that's been a journey.
00:39:05
And I'm in my 50s. This is hard work. This is a lot of undoing and things that have the pressures that we have felt. So? Yeah.
00:39:19
I don't know. Experience. Yeah. And in terms of, like, I don't know. I think there's a lot of education that needs to occur.
00:39:30
And I wasn't expecting to keep talking about this, but cuddling is a really good practice for all identities, all people, all genders, all bodies, and platonic touch that's in a safe container is a really good way of working through some of these things. Yeah, that's what I was thinking, too, is I would love to tell people, go find a facilitated cuddle party because you learn so much about how to navigate consent. Ask for what you want. Talk about what you don't want in a container that's held, that's facilitated, that has a structure to it, so that you're not practicing this on your own. In a situation where if I say no and this person is upset, then I'm in danger.
00:40:34
Or I am in a position where I might lose connection or love or security. It's such a great place to practice these tools and then know what they feel like. Yeah. And for people who have never experienced this and they're like, cuddling with strangers feels like, oh, my God, you also don't have to do it. That's part of it.
00:41:08
Touch is not required. You can have a conversation with somebody. You can sit in the corner and be by yourself. You can establish your own boundary, and you can observe. And just to let people know that.
00:41:24
And I love what you talked about in terms of safety, one of my favorite things that Dan Savage has said is that men are afraid of women laughing at them, and women are afraid of men killing them. When it comes down to stating what we want or establishing a boundary. Right. And this is a biological reality over the history of human existence, it is not necessarily my personal experience to that degree, although I think there is some of that, but it lives somewhere in my human experience through our DNA. It's in there that violence has occurred since we've begun.
00:42:25
And I think just recognizing that, that it's like, oh, because I have to be gentle with myself. When after the fact, why did I allow that to happen? Well, there's a lot of stay alive. The response is that fight, flight, spawn all of it. It's like soup.
00:42:59
And we all react in different ways and combinations of ways. And just being gentle with yourself for not behaving in the way, that felt good is key. Don't beat yourself up over it. Just try to learn and learn what your response is. Yeah, I love that.
00:43:28
Thank you. Okay, I want to okay, I have a segment that I hold for support. Hold hold off. For supporters of the show on our patreon. It's patreon.com, not monogamous.
00:43:48
For people who want to hear it, it's just the tip. I would love to hear your favorite or best sex tip.
00:44:08
So my best sex tip is based on my experience and my belief that our erotic selves or our preferences cannot be fully expressed or. Shared if there is judgment or shaming going on. So I think it's a two way tip as a person who might be scared to open up and to share something about themselves and we've been discussing that like this is what I want. And then the stuff that comes after that, the reactions, the unsolicited things. Part of that is establishing a boundary prior to the discussion.
00:45:18
And in the case of someone sharing something very personal and secretive and potentially has the potential for judgment, prepping the conversation around that like, I would love to be vulnerable with you and share something, and I'm concerned that you're going to have a negative reaction to it and then some way hurt me. And I would like to set aside a time, maybe it's not right now when you're willing to hear this without judging me. And setting a boundary around shaming is not allowed because at its core shaming somebody for their sexuality, their identity, their desires, their kinks or fetishes is abuse and we need to protect ourselves from that abuse.
00:46:21
And then also the other side is like what a gift that someone is giving you if they're sharing this part of themselves. It's not a requirement for you to or an obligation for you to provide that thing and whatever, but it's a peek into their world. It's potentially a solidification of your relationship and taking it to a different place and to a different level. So see it as a gift and not an obligation or a burden because just being accepting and willing to listen to somebody can really give them a wonderful gift of like release. Like someone hurt me and I'm not holding on to the secret anymore.
00:47:32
Yes, that's my long tip. It's so true though. I say it all the time. If you have a fantasy or a kink and sharing it with your partner, first of all, it doesn't mean you have to do it, right? It doesn't mean you have to do it.
00:47:48
It just means I'm sharing another facet of myself with you. Yeah. And that is, that's a gift. I like to respond and I think it's kind of my default. Hey, I've shamed people, I'm sure in the past or I've been like, oh no, that's whatever.
00:48:12
But I think my default really is tell me more.
00:48:23
But also we have responsibility when we're sharing things like don't dump it on somebody, don't surprise them. And also, especially with respect to non monogamy, if this is something you've been in your mind exploring or maybe even cheating, whatever it is, reading the books, listening to the podcast and your partner is still over here and you're like way over here, they're not coming that fast. You need to go back there and start slowly because they can't have all the information that you've acquired and they're not in their heads the same way that you are. So be respectful of that. I love that.
00:49:11
Thank you, the listeners. That was CJ's just the tip. And you can hear it at monogamous.
00:49:23
This has been absolutely amazing. Where can people find you? Thank you. So I'm a coach, and obviously I love working around this idea of shame, and my website is noshamewithcj.com. I'm also on Instagram currently under that same name.
00:49:47
And if any of this is of interest to you, like talking about something that's been on your mind, you're afraid to share it, please reach out. I do free discovery calls and I'd love to work with you. And if you have any kind of shame, there's a whole conversation around STIs that I'm working on, and people hold a lot of shame around sexual trauma, STIs, all kinds of things. And I think the best way to move forward and eliminate that is by getting it off your chest, having someone who can hear you without judgment and also exposing these things to sunlight, it's not going to live. The more that we expose it to sunlight in whatever comfortable way that is for you.
00:50:49
Yeah, I love that. Amazing. Thank you so much. This has been just wonderful conversation. I can't wait for people to hear it.
00:51:01
Thank you so much. I appreciate that. You're welcome. Bye.